CTP's Recursive Irony

CTP's RECURSIVEirony

Sunday, February 29, 2004

BlackBoxVoting.org

21st Century Ballot Tampering...electronical style!

I'm going to weigh in on this now that the link has been up a few hours. There are a great many fears floating around out there that electronic voting will be frought with scandal and corruption. Many people want to stick with paper ballots because they feel they are more secure. Some people want the electronic polling stations to provide the voter with a paper copy of how they voted.

First off, paper ballots are not secure. Nor are they foolproof, as evidenced by the 2000 U.S. presidential election. You mark, or punch, that paper ballot, then it is dropped into a box, and you never see it again. How can any of you consider that secure? The box could be lost (which does happen), and whatever is in that ballot box can be tampered with. You do not leave your polling place with a paper receipt of how you voted now. How do people think they would make use of that paper receipt? Are you going to return your vote for credit if your selection didn't win? Are you going to go out to lunch with the other 500,000 people in your area and compare your slips if something didn't seem right?

When you vote now you place your trust in the people in power to collect and count those votes. There is nothing there but trust.

As far as electronic voting devices are concerned, are they 100% secure? No way. Are they foolproof? No way. Never forget - everytime you make something foolproof the world will invent a bigger fool.

What's the answer? First off the companies pushing these machines on election departments need to do the best job they can being honest and up front. That means some of them should just close shop now, I fear. They have done a terrible job securing our trust.

There needs to be complete transparency of their source code and encryption methods. There is no security in obscurity...history has proved this time and time again. There need to be systems in place to be sure no elected officials, and no influence groups, own controlling interests in these firms...or any interest in them for that matter. In fact, why not form non-profits to design and build these machines? As long as there is some form of power at stake there will be that much greater a risk of problems.

Electronic voting won't go away. But unless we want even fewer people to turn up at the polls, we'd better get this right.

Posted at 10:53 PM

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Howard Stern Pulled From 6 Stations

Howard Stern's radio show got pulled from 6 Clear Channel stations over issues of decency.

Small loss...I personally find the show moronic, puerile, idiotic, and completely unfunny.

But I am concerned over all this disingenuous hand-wringing over decency. There are a lot of indecencies that need serious attention in the country, and on this planet. Howard Stern's radio show is merely a tiny pimple sitting on the butt of the rest of it.

But once again the dog-and-pony show of "decency" and "morality" gets trotted out, and the easiest targets are assailed.

Wake up folks...once again, your tax dollars at work here.

Posted at 9:10 AM

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Fully self-contained wireless (802.11b) video camera from Linksys

There are lots of webcammy things out there these days...why is this one different?

For one thing - 802.11b wireless networking built in.

For another thing - A "security mode" where the camera will email you a photo of whatever just moved across its field of vision...if you don't like what you see (or I suppose if you *do* like what you see) you can log into the camera's built in webserver and keep track of what's going on.

And for a third thing - it's $200.

The potential for good security, surveillance, and monitoring is huge lately, and this extends those capabilities another step...and not a small step at that. Of course the potential for abuse is huge here too - we'll have to see how this one fits into the current controversy surrounding these things.

I'm just trying to figure out how to use it in a piece of art...

Posted at 1:57 PM

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Quotations of Theodore Roosevelt by The Theodore Roosevelt Association

The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able, and disinterested service to the Nation as a whole. Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile. To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else.

'Roosevelt in the Kansas City Star', 149
May 7, 1918

Posted at 10:06 AM

Why of course the people don't want war ... But after all it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship ...Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.

Hermann Goering, Nazi leader, at the Nuremberg Trials after World War II

Posted at 10:03 AM

President Bush wants to protect the sanctity of marriage

This is great!!!

We need to protect the sanctity of marriage from reality TV shows like Joe Millionaire, and the Bachelor, and the rest.

We need to protect the sanctity of marriage from drive thru weddings in Las Vegas performed by Elvis impersonators.

We need to protect the sanctity of marriage from sitting presidents getting blow-jobs in the oval office from interns.

We need to protect the sanctity of marriage from the "moral" leaders of this nation doing things like leaving their wife while they lay in hospital.

oh...wait...what's that? He wants to protect the sanctity of marriage from loving, caring adults who want to commit to one another...but not the real "threats" to marriage?

Well that's just assinine.

Posted at 10:02 AM

Monday, February 23, 2004

CHEESE SUBSTITUTES—THREAT OR OPPORTUNITY?

Um...can't I have another choice? Maybe "threat, opportunity, or CRAP?" I don't make this stuff up, people.

btw - CTP's Recursive Irony is the number 5 hit on google when searching for "cheese analog" I'm brimming with pride.

Posted at 11:27 PM

Instant Message your Apple store.

Extra special thanks to Emil the Canadian Pieman for the heads-up on this. Now you can IM your local Apple Store.

I hadn't realized quite how spoiled I am, with regards to Apple Stores...I live within 50 miles of 4 or 5 of them...Emil's closest one is 500 miles away. Thank heavens for UPS, eh?

Posted at 9:47 AM

Friday, February 20, 2004

For those who noticed the microcontroller blog entry...it got posted to the wrong blog...just in case you were wondering :)

Posted at 10:33 PM

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Book Review - True Colors by Anthony Haden-Guest

This book is billed as "the real life of the art world." A rather broad statement for a somewhat focused book. If you are a person interested in the visual arts, art movements, and the effect of the gallery system, it's an interesting read. If you don't know any of the names it can be very hard to follow, but probably still worth the effort.

The book covers a swath of the contemporary art world from the 60s up into the 90s chronicalling many of the movements that changed art, for better or worse. The main focus is on the collector/gallery/museum/auction side of things, which is a rather interesting angle. This book helps reveal the ugliness, greed, and backstabbing that can go on when art and big money meet.

One very nice aspect is that much of this book is the author's first hand account of things...he was there with the artists, et al, so the perspective and insight is refreshing compared to other books filled with just research and reporting.

Recommended, but not for everyone...just most of you.

Find "true colors the real life of the art world" by Haden-Guest, Anthony on BookFinder.com

Posted at 3:25 PM

new and improved...RecursiveIrony now archived monthly as opposed to weekly.

you can thank me later.

ctp

Posted at 2:41 PM

datapimp email and hosting services:

Now isn't this what the internet was invented for? Look at all the great domain names you can hitch your wagon to...and for free, no less!

Here is a tiny selection (asterisks added for PG rating :):

WhereTheF**kAreMyPants.com
KissMyF**kingAss.com
Meet-Me-In-Hell.com
I-Dont-Give-A-F**k.com
ICantFeelMyLegs.com
WeirdMotherf**ker.com

warning - don't go over there if you're language sensitive.

Posted at 11:31 AM

"The Iron Chef of Filmmaking"

Jin Woo Joo has a project called CinemaSports. Some of you may recall Jin's name from the credits of BYOBW. Here's the description from their site:

Cinemasports is the iron chef of filmmaking. Can different groups make a 4 minute movie in one day that includes an onion, an English teacher, and a tattoo parlor? We explore how the same ingredients inspire different creative minds.

Each cinemasports event starts with the announcement of time limits and "ingredients" and ends with a screening of results. This screening parades raw creativity by filmmakers interpreting the same constraints. The results prove entertainingly similar and inspiringly different.

Sounds like a blast...go check out the site for sure. I'm trying to wrangle the time to participate in one of the next events with a couple improv friends of mine...I'll keep you posted. e me if yer interested too.

Posted at 11:08 AM

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

SmallMediumLarge.swf

Ever been inside a Starbucks?

You will love this then...not worksafe (language)

Sooooo damned funny...I still can't breathe

Posted at 12:11 AM

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

The Awful Forums - My mother is insane (~5M of photos)

Okay folks...all of you...every mother-scrathin last one of you, go look at this. If you ever again think me a "packrat" take a good look...a good long look. This woman makes me look like Felix Unger.

Excuse me now...I feel the urge to throw some stuff away
immediately. :-D

Rates a solid 5 on the OMG meter

Posted at 11:58 PM

www.On-This-Day.com

BLIMEY!!

Look who has the same birthday as me:

April 18

Clarence Darrow 1857
Leopold Stokowski 1882
Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown 1924
Mike Vickers (Manfred Mann) 1941
Jochen Rindt 1942
Jim Hunter 1946
Hayley Mills 1946
Alexander Spence (Moby Grape) 1946
James Woods 1947
Geoff Bodine 1949
Rick Moranis 1954
Eric Roberts 1956
Les Pattinson (Echo and the Bunnymen) 1958
Conan O'Brien 1963
Eric McCormack 1963
Greg Eklund (Everclear) 1970
Melissa Joan Hart 1976

Posted at 11:30 PM

RatherGood update...

Remember the post about the inventors of Flash, and the link went to the spongemonkeys singing "We like the moon"? (if you don't, scroll down a ways, you'll find it)

Well, last night I was flipping channels, and the spongemonkeys have been sold out to Quizno's. It seems they no longer like the moon...they now like toasted sub sandwiches. Hmmmph.

Posted at 9:34 AM

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Way, way cool idea

I'm here in New Mexico visiting, and just came across an article about this outfit. They are taking used tires, and compressing them into 1 ton bales for use in construction. It turns out a tire bale has an insulation R-factor of 240! R-240! Pretty cool!

Ernest Cordova is "burning rubber" to come up with new ways to put old tires to use. His family-owned business, Cordova and Sons of Cuba, N.M., collects and recycles used tires to make bales for landscaping and building projects.

Americans discard 270 million tires each year, says the Department of Environmental Quality, a huge burden for a nation trying to put the brakes on landfills. Cordova diverts about 100 tires from the landfill with each bale he manufactures, compacting the rubber into blocks convenient for building. Using tires instead of rocks or concrete for projects saves labor, time and money, he says; moreover, "tires are beautiful and work great if you do it right."

Cordova also supplies tire bales to a new generation of tire recyclers at the Colorado School of the Mines in Colorado Springs. Engineering professor Bob Knecht says that his students have incorporated tires in their design projects for five years, and have built walls of tires that reduce highway noise five times better than any product on the market. "They work very well," he says. "Hopefully, they'll catch on."

"It's a simple way to use something that's a real pain," says Stuart Hoenig, a retired engineering professor and a tire recycling advocate. "If the tires are just laying around, they get rainwater and insects in them, and they're a fire hazard."

More info on tire recycling in general here.

Posted at 10:38 PM

Friday, February 13, 2004

I don't know if any of you remember, but about a year ago I read The Curve of Binding Energy by John McPhee. When I had finished I started thinking about building a non-working nuclear bomb...not out of some anarchic destruction-lust, but more as a message regarding how frightening I found the fact that, apart from the fissionable material at its heart, it would be sooooo very easy to build. I found that thought quite chilling...and still do.

Well fast forward to today. The book I am reading is True Colors by Anthony Haden-Guest, and as it turns out, in a typical "everything's been done already fashion", somebody beat me to it several years ago: Gregory Green

Anyhow, in typical CTP's R.I. fashion, I say, "go check it out"

But you knew I was going to say that, didn't you.

ps - a book review of True Colors is on its way as soon as I finish the book.

Posted at 10:08 AM

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Nixie Tube Clock

It takes a special kind of geek to even know what a nixie tube is.

You do know what a nixie tube is, no?

Posted at 12:17 AM

Hemp foods win!!! -- SaveHemp.org

The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that hemp foods -- such as waffles, bread, cereal, veggie burgers, protein powder, salad dressing, and nutrition bars -- are outside the control of the Drug Enforcement Administration.

As the case closed, the DEA agreed that hemp foods have no abuse
potential. In his final arguments, DEA attorney Daniel Dormont stated,
"The DEA has never said, has never focused on the particular products,
and said anyone can get high from them, or that they pose a harm to
people."

Did you get that? The DEA says there is no abuse potential, and that they do not pose a harm to people.

Read that again.

They are fighting this fight with your tax dollars. A fight they themselves admit amounts to nothing. Your tax dollars. Your elected officials. Fighting against a plant which can not get you high. A plant that produced much of the rope used during World War II...a million acres of the stuff was grown, with the encouragement of the government, in order to aid the war effort. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew it, as did most colonists. This was a vital cash crop in this nation until fewer than 100 years ago.

Wake up folks.

btw - all S class Mercedes automobiles use hemp insulation throughout.

Posted at 12:05 AM

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Jeffrey St. Clair: Santorum: That's Latin for Asshole

Oohoohoohoo

That's some good reading.

Posted at 5:11 PM

KineticWorld.com - Blog Department

Not for everyone, but I thought I'd post the link here anyway...just in case you know someone who could use it: info about kinetic art, electronic art, robotics, etc...

Posted at 4:10 PM

Bonfante Gardens Theme Park -- Home of the Circus Trees!

This truly warms my heart...seriously.

I had read about the "Circus Trees" many many years ago, but never got to see them in their original home. Last I had heard, the land where they had been created had been sold, and the new owners didn't plan on keeping them around...they were to be destroyed.

As it turns out the Bonafante Gardens in Gilroy, CA, rescued them and is now taking care of them.

It doesn't feel too often that important old stuff...the kind of stuff that doesn't hold a huge profit potential...gets saved in this world. This could be a shining example of doing it right. I'll let you know after we visit them.

Posted at 10:44 AM

She's Got A Chicken To Ride - Joel Veitch, rathergood.com - a misheard lyric animation

And this ditty in the interest of Beatlemania's 40th anniversary.

btw - many thanks to Eva for the tip on Rathergood.com

Posted at 12:07 AM

Monday, February 09, 2004

We Like The Moon - the Spongmonkeys try and cash in on the kittens' success - By Joel Veitch rathergood.com, song by Joel and Alex Veitch

All I can say is, "god bless the inventors of Flash"

Really.

Do not watch while drinking milk lest you want it shooting out your nose

Go watch their other stuff too...rates a 5 on the OMG meter

Posted at 11:58 PM

tickle robot

Kee-ripes, that's cool!!!

I don't know if this belongs here, or over at KineticWorld.com, or what.

Go look...and watch the movie too!!!

Posted at 11:19 PM

Rhapsody - Best legal music subscription service

BETTER THAN ITUNES?!?!?!?!?!

uh...yup, it might just be

Posted at 10:00 AM

MSNBC - Real Rhapsody in Blue

Hmmmph...well that explains a lot. I'm not crazy afterall.

Okay, okay...I'm still crazy.

Posted at 9:55 AM

Friday, February 06, 2004

Center for Theoretical Physics

My name in lights!!!!!

Okay, so it's not my name, but my initials. And I guess it's not really in lights.

fine

Posted at 3:34 PM

I guess I'm in a quotation mood lately

Here in America we are descended in blood and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels -- men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine. As their heirs, may we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
--Dwight D. EISENHOWER

Posted at 3:28 PM

WILLIAM COWPER Quotations

Ceremony leads her bigots forth, prepared to fight for shadows of no worth.
While truths, on which eternal things depend, can hardly find a single friend.
William Cowper
1731-1800, British Poet

Posted at 3:25 PM

SFBG iPod article

it's tough to find a music fan who hasn't purchased one.

Oh, bullshit...it's tough to find a music fan who HAS purchased one.

At the Feb. 1, 2004, Super Bowl ? 20 years after Apple launched the Macintosh with a now-famous commercial spot ? the "Think Different" company's iTunes Music Store, in concert with Pepsi, remixed the long-ago Columbia campaign so clearly that the debt can't attributed to random accident. But instead of importing the original's essential appeal ? its literary backdrop, fascist imagery, and simple, effective undercutting of the aforementioned ? Apple did more than play it safe. Not only did it join forces with an old-guard ugly corporate giant (Pepsi has a bad track record), but it also recruited a handful of captured pirates and sold them to the other side.

Ask me, and I'll tell you Apple should've folded its hand rather than asking fraud-savvy consumers to deal another card in order to bet 20 hapless kids and Apple's rep as an industry rebel against the stain of getting into bed with Pepsi; think different, my ass.

Trudat.

Last week I called Mark Weinstein, part owner of Amoeba Music, and asked him if the online downloading had effected the company. "I doubt it," he said, sounding genuinely unconcerned. "The more people listen to music ? no matter how they get it ? the more music they want. That's just how it works.

This quote brings up an important point, tho. If the music industry had its way 100%, you wouldn't be allowed to buy a used record or CD. You wouldn't be allowed to transfer music from the CDs you buy to an MD, or cassette, or your computer. You would be required to re-purchase music previously paid for in order to get it in another format. The record companies have been arrogant, have been pushy, have foist untold tons of pure shite on the music consumer for far too long, have colluded with commercial radio to only play what they want played, have forced indy label/new artist's music off the air and out of stores, have created a world in which even large selling artists can't make any money from record sales, have increased the price of CDs to record levels, and have ignored the fans, and the handwriting on the wall, for far too long. As far as I'm concerned the record industry has made its bed, and they're gonna have to lie in it...they are too clueless, blind, bloated, and stupid to have it any other way. What's going on is pent up, super angry backlash. Unfortunately for the major labels there was very little in the way of vents for all this anger until filesharing/P2P over broadband. The revolution has begun, and the rebels are armed to the teeth.

Don't get me wrong...if you download music that you don't already own in some form, you are stealing from the artists. No matter what a bunch of louses the major labels are, you are stealing. No matter how angry you are, you are strealing. But no matter how much people are stealing, for now I bet their anger will win out.

On the other hand, the industry threats that musicians will stop making music if they aren't making any money from the record industry are ridiculous. Artists make art because they are driven to. Musicians who make good music will find a way to make a living at it...possibly a better living than they ever could in the major label system. A great many artists today, who get zero airplay, and aren't on major labels, make a living playing live, and selling their discs through other channels. As a matter of fact a great many artists who ARE on major lablels make their living playing live, and treat CDs as marketing to get people to come see them play.

Look at artists like Ani DiFranco. She has self released 21 albums in the last 14 years. Can you picture the major labels allowing such a thing? The majors who will "release singles" here and there from an album for a full year, or sometimes two. There have been loads of examples of a band's efforts sitting on the shelf, wasting away, because the label chose not to release it, for whatever reason...but the reason isn't usually because it's bad music. Who loses? The listener, and the artist...but remember, we generally aren't who is important to the label.

The Beatles released around 20 albums in the U.S. between 1964 and 1970. While only about 15 of those were comprised of new material, it's still a feat that I'll bet the major labels could never allow to happen today. If they don't dole out the music very carefully it could tip the precarious balance they strive to control.

BTW - Lemme trot out some old links for y'all :)

Great article by Janis Ian about music downloads

MAGNATUNE Awesome online record label. Great music. And 50% of retail goes to the artist.

Posted at 10:34 AM

Thursday, February 05, 2004

This is too good

Tom Delay--
He and Quayle, DeLay explained to the assembled media in New Orleans, were victims of an unusual phenomenon back in the days of the undeclared Southeast Asian war. So many minority youths had volunteered for the well-paying military positions to escape poverty and the ghetto that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like himself. Satisfied with the pronouncement, which dumbfounded more than a few of his listeners who had lived the sixties, DeLay marched off to the convention.

Posted at 6:02 PM

Today's sermon about the trickster--and as such it is a story

You just gotta love Unitarian Universalists...well, I do. A good read, and a good message, written by Rev. Susan Ritchie

Some excerpts:
You see, there are tricksters among us yet. They cross our paths and gain our attention by being both very much like us, only more carefree. They cross boundaries and conventions that we have been in the habit of respecting. And in showing us the possibility of transcending those boundaries, they shake lose something in us that was frozen. They put windows and doors where we saw only walls.

Every group has its edge, its sense of belonging and boundaries. And the trickster is there, at the gates of the city, at the gates of spiritual experience, making sure that we don't forget what lies on the other side. We so called civilized people constantly distinguish between right and wrong, male and female, the living and the dead, the young and the old, good and evil. We need the trickster to cross those lines and erase those distinctions--we need the trickster to show us new ways to live.

Tricksters might be in many ways morally ambiguous, but what they create is culture—they usually perform their tricks and even their thievery so as to make life just a little more comfortable and a little less difficult for all of humanity.

Sometimes the most generous things we do have selfish intentions; sometimes the most selfish things we do have generous consequences. Such is the lesson of the trickster: we are all morally ambivalent. And pretending otherwise doesn’t really serve the cause of justice at all—it just makes us blind to our biases, unconsciously cruel, and painfully self-righteous.

Posted at 9:47 AM

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Al Sharpton - Sleeping With the GOP

Did Reverend Al invite a wolf into the coop?

Yikes

Posted at 11:15 PM

Victims Of Government Violence

Want to get very, very angry? Click on over and have a read.

The stories here of people, most of them innocent, some of them mere children, gunned down by law enforcement agents in cold blood all in the name of the "war on drugs" should make you scream.

These are our neighbors, being killed by those charged with protecting us. We are paying to have this done to us with our own tax dollars, and it is authorized, even mandated, by those we vote into office. This "war" costs us tens of billions of dollars, staggering hidden costs, and untold lives.

Instead of dealing with economic and social problems in America, the most prosperous country on the globe, we are on an incarceration binge. The prison population has tripled since 1980, with 89% of federal prisoners behind bar for drug violations. From an older but still pertinent editorial.

Will this lunacy ever end? Not as long as there is profit in waging war...most any sort of war. In fact just call it a war, even if it isn't, and watch your profit potential rise.

=========================

Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and co-operation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

Posted at 11:13 PM

Quiz Time

Who said this in 1998?

"I firmly believed that we should not march into Baghdad....To occupy Iraq would instantly shatter our coalition, turning the whole Arab world against us and make a broken tyrant into a latter day Arab hero...assigning young soldiers to a fruitless hunt for a securely entrenched dictator and condemning them to fight in what would be an unwinnable urban guerrilla war."

Anyone...anyone?

Who said George H. W. Bush?

You're correct.

Posted at 12:37 PM

Political Compass - US Primaries

BTW - here is a chart of most everyone running for president this year on the political compass. Interesting.

BTW2 - in case you wondered...I test out about 1 click left, and about 6 clicks down.

Posted at 12:08 PM

Political Compass

For all those that haven't seen it, and for all those who wanted to see it again.

Welcome to The Political Compass.
There's abundant evidence for the need of it. The old one-dimensional categories of 'right' and 'left' , established for the seating arrangement of the French National Assembly of 1789, are overly simplistic for today's complex political landscape.

It's not sufficient to say that Stalin was simply more left than Gandhi. There are fundamental political differences between them that the old categories on their own can't explain. Similarly, we generally describe social reactionaries as 'right-wingers', yet that leaves left-wing reactionaries like Robert Mugabe and Pol Pot off the hook.

That's about as much as we should tell you for now.

We believe that, in an age of diminishing ideology, a new generation in particular will get a better idea of where they stand politically - and the sort of political company they keep. So are you ready to take the test?

Posted at 11:55 AM

Comment This! Blogger Comments System

Thinkin 'bout changing comments systems...any comments. I probably won't get them considering this system seems to suck rocks...but go on, give it a try :)

Posted at 10:59 AM

Disco Song Mystery Solved

Okay, so it ain't excatly poetic.

But it was stuck in my head and wouldn't go away until I exorcised it.

Yea...my brain is weird...shut up

Posted at 12:32 AM

Google Slaps Booble

I'm so confused.

I thought Justin slaps Booble.

sigh

Posted at 12:08 AM

Booble.com Adult Search Engine

Following on the heels of the whole Janet Jackson thang (oh...that wasn't her heel? oh yea) it seemed like an opportune - crass and juvenile, but opportune - time to post something about Booble.com. Go on, go look...not 100% worksafe, but not far off.

It seems that Booble.com has put a bug up Google's ass...let's all watch the injunctions ensue, shall we? :-D

Posted at 12:04 AM

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Desperately seeking disco song title and artist

"More, more, more! How do you like it? How do you like it?
More, more, more! How do you like it? How do you like it?"

The bare melody...Just to jog your memory.

Don't ask me why.

Posted at 11:56 PM

I gotta get me a bigger TV!!!

So, I admit it...I was wrong. Some of America did see Janet Jackson's nipple (the 30 million Americans that returned the big screen TV today that they bought on Saturday)...and that wasn't a pasty. On my TV it barely looked like a breast, so gimme a break!

Anyway, Matt Drudge, ever intrepid ace reporter, has the dirt. It seems that knowledge of the stunt, before it happened, went to the highest levels at CBS.

I'm shocked. Whoodathunkit? Well, I never. Aw, jeez...

Gimme a break...of course they knew.

Anyhow - Mr Drudge must have a big ole TV, cuz he's got the goods! Warning - not worksafe for most - although hardly "shocking"
DRUDGE BOOBIE REPORT

And in case that link doesn't work, try these:
Janet, and a boob...oh yea, and her breast too
closeup of the deplorable offense
But, do you still respect me?

Posted at 12:21 AM

Monday, February 02, 2004

Super Stars Arrive In Houston For Super Bowl

"Some of the big names scheduled to perform at the Super Bowl XXXVIII half time show arrived in Houston Thursday, and met with the media as one of their first orders of business. However, Janet Jackson declined to take part in the reporters' question and answer session, and silently posed for the cameras instead.

Keeping her feelings close to the vest as it were? Although I'm certain they could tell she had something to get off her chest.

P. Diddy, Kid Rock and Nellie showed up in style at the news conference, sporting their unique fashions, as well as a wealth of diamonds and gold.

For the first time during an NFL half time show, the worlds of pop, hip hop and rock will collide to provide Sunday's entertainment.

errrmmmm...you forgot the world of burlesque in there

We're going to do it. We're going to do it right. It's going to be that hip-hop energy and flavor of the show, but it's going to be able to be internationally and universally accepted,' P. Diddy said

Internationally? Pretty much since only the US and the Middle East has a problem with bare breasts.

Universally accepted? Pretty much not, considering the FCC probably would rather see that breast lopped off on SVU or CSI than exposed for barely a second during the Stupor Bowl.

Posted at 8:00 PM

Janet Jackson's Breast Labeled "Deplorable"

Honestly, I didn't see enough of it to decide if it was deplorable or not.

All joking aside, can't we all just FUCKING GROW UP??? For chrissake, it was a breast, with a damned pasty on it. Here are some choice blurbs:

"Timberlake, who was in the midst of a flirty duet with Jackson when he reached over and ripped open her costume to reveal her breast, blamed a 'wardrobe malfunction"

Despite the fact that she checked it no fewer than 4 times on camera to make sure the thing would be ready for the moment.

Never mind that as he made the move, he was singing: 'Better have you naked by the end of this song', a line from his hit single 'Rock Your Body'

Durrrrrrr

The show, which is watched by millions of Americans every year, was produced by MTV. The National Football League said it was unaware that such a display was planned and suggested that MTV would never be invited to produce a half-time Super Bowl show again.

Oh fuck! Say it ain't so!!!!!!! You mean they'll have to find someone else to produce their over-priced, over-hyped, over-wrought, over-produced, over-watched, over-fucking-cared about precious halftime show? Awww...what a tragedy...pansy assed duplicitous network dumbfucks.

BTW - Do you remember last year's halftime show? And that one 2 years ago? You say you don't? ME NEITHER!!! We'll all remember this one, tho.

network dumbfucks outloud: "OH MY GOD!! we are sooo sorry...it was all MTV's fault! We hate them now!! It'll never happen again!!"
network dumbfucks in their heads: Quick, this is huge, this is fantastic, how can we sell this? Get right on it, we can turn this into millions!!! ooh, yea, before we forget...send another fruitbasket, with a fat check, or maybe a hooker, or maybe both, over to Michael Powell at the FCC.

Mr Powell [pansy assed bureaucratic FCC dumbfuck] said: 'I am outraged at what I saw during the half-time show of the Super Bowl. Like millions of Americans, my family and I gathered around the television for a celebration. Instead, that celebration was tainted ... Our nation's children, parents and citizens deserve better.'

I agree wholeheartedly!! We deserved much better!!! I understand that to that end they had tried to get Pamela Anderson, but unfortunately she doesn't sing nearly as well as Janet (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty)

So, Mr. Powell, a bare breast with no nipple even showing outrages you, and taints the whole celebration for you? You need a life...seriously. I'm surprised Kid Rock's PWT melon poking up out of a torn American flag didn't send you into fucking convulsions.

There was no comment from Jackson. Which left Timberlake to explain. 'I am sorry that anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the half-time performance,' he said. 'It was not intentional and is regrettable.'

1) I think Ms. Jackson said enough...nudge nudge wink wink...she who laffs last, laffs breast. BTW - does that mean that she wears silver pasties under every outfit?
2) I understand why they need to play this off as unintentional, I just wish it didn't have to be that way.

On MTV's website before the game, the choreographer of the show promised that Jackson's performance would include 'some shocking moments'.

Really. Fucking grow up, people.

Posted at 7:51 PM

Sunday, February 01, 2004

The ultimate inside joke?

Might be since only 3 or 4 people in the world will get this...but the rest of you should tag along for the ride.

When I was the head of I.S. at GBN, Andy and I kept a running list of words, phrases, and haiku on a whiteboard wall. Some we came up with ourselves, some others came up with, some on purpose, some quite by accident...some from abject ignorance.

I will provide short explanations with each list item...the closest thing to having to be there.

So...on to the list:

Hard disk needle = That little thing inside a hard drive that reads the data from the disk. "Don't bump your computer...you'll make the hard disk needle skip"

World Globalization = Of course it's WORLD globalization...what the hell else would we globalize?

Bleating hearts = Bleeding hearts that follow each other like sheep

He's my ship to baxter = the output of IBM Via Voice when an ultra frustrated user screamed "Eat my shit, you bastard!" at it. Our catch phrase for all voice recognition software since that fateful day. That user happened to be Andyman Showerdonkey...in case anyone wondered.

Appleplexy = The condition one finds oneself in after sitting on hold with Apple tech support for over an hour. Soonafter extended to one's attitude after any lenghty tech support holding pattern.

It's not rocket surgery = Pretty obvious one

Cheese analog = Found on a website chock full of food additives, chemicals, and fake food stretching products. Cheese analog is a 100% cheeseless, yet somewhat cheese-like, substance...or so I'm told.

Get me a 5 hub router! = Something a consultant asked us to get for the NY office...it was at this point we knew this man hadn't a clue.

Wackyparse = The process of running something important thru a piece of software, only to have it come out the other end totally, unrecognizable, irretrievably garbled.

Mouse lube = The stuff we tell users we put into their mouse to make it work again.

Interupt coefficient = The formula which states that the more often you get interrupted, the longer it takes to get a long task done...due to having to get one's brain wrapped around the problem every time you get back to it.

One of the haiku:
Mediocrity
Surrounds us every day
Knock it the hell off

Posted at 8:44 PM